Come along friend
A few weeks ago, I was sitting (via Zoom, because we live in pandemic times that have changed how we access each other) with my spiritual director. We’ve been talking about resting in God, letting go of my perfectionist tendencies, my need to control God, and a whole bunch of other fun stuff that makes me cry on occasion.
I’m not a crier.
At one point, the phrase, “come along friend” popped into my head. Only I didn’t sense it was God saying it to me. Rather, it was me saying it to myself.
Come along friend.
I don’t usually view myself as my own friend. It’s rather hard for me to do this. But this feeling was so strong, so vivid, I haven’t been able to shake it. I WANT to be my own friend. I want to tell myself to come along as I move though the various aspects of life. I want to like myself.
It’s a work in progress.
I don’t write newsletters because I don’t think I’m interesting.
I don’t do exciting things. I’m an interior person, prone to sit in a coffee shop rather than go for a hike or something. I don’t do things. I work and live with my family.
But there are complexities to every life, and my life is no exception. Perhaps, it’s not that I’m not interesting, but rather that I’m not interested in my self. Maybe, I don’t share about my life because I’m simply not interested in my own living.
Well, not I have something to talk about in therapy.
I’m going to start a newsletter because I want to be my own friend. I’m not going to spam you or force my life down your throat. It’s going to be a paid subscription, so only people who really want to keep up with my friendship with myself will have access. I’ll still post my essays and an update or two for free here, but this experiment isn’t for the entirety of the world to see. It’s for those who want to invest in my and care if I’m friends with my self or not.
I don’t know if I can do this, but I’m sure going to try.
Come along friend.